Tag: trust

Integrity (Part 1 of 2)

Keeping One’s Word

The importance of integrity is self-evident. Lack of trust may extend beyond the person who broke the promise towards others as well. Following this logic, the health and structure of a society could be affected.

The Promise Movie

I recently watched a movie called, “The Promise”. So many little truths and realizations jumped out at me that I thought I would share some of them.

In the movie, there wasn’t just one promise made, there were many. And as I continue watching, I realize that there are often consequences to not keeping one’s word. The damage doesn’t just occur to oneself but also to the people who suffer loss from the broken word or promise.

Mistrusts

If someone promises something and doesn’t happen, the person who is counting on and put their faith in that person’s word learns mistrust.

That lack of trust may extend beyond the person who broke the promise towards others as well. Following this logic, the health and structure of a society could be affected.

Therefore, the lack of integrity is a double-edged sword. It cuts both the giver and the receiver. The giver of the promise will no longer be trusted and can no longer trade or work with the betrayed based on the strength of that person’s word.

Both parties have lost. If the ripples of betrayal extend beyond the two people, many people can be affected.

In relationships

In the case of a personal relationship, the cost of a broken word is more than just the loss of trust, it includes the inflicting of deep hurt on the person who was misled. For example, the vows of marriage are supposed to be sacred.

The personal and emotional cost for breaking them can be devastating for both parties. If there are others involved, such as children, it can wreak havoc on them as well.

Their lives will be disrupted by the breakup of the family or at the very least the ensuing cloud of mistrust that exists between the leaders of the household.

In businesses

In business, a person’s word has to be good. If you cannot keep true to your word, you cannot be trusted and when that happens, how can you continue to conduct commerce?

Credit lines will be cut and personal contacts, which are so valuable in the business world, can be lost.

 

Continue reading the last part:

Integrity (Part 2 of 2)

Advertisements

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 3 of 3)

Please read the wonderful previous articles:

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 1 of 3)

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 2 of 3)

 

Continuation:

 

When you don’t trust yourself, you will seek guidance from everyone else

Your life will be outer-focused, and people will make decisions about your life for you. Make your personal decisions based on what’s most important to you and what works best for you.

You can ask other people’s opinions as long as you are willing to pay most attention to your feelings. If you are unsure of yourself, take the time to really listen to your gut. If you have a relationship with a Higher Power, spend time in prayer and ask that the truth be revealed to you.

During my coaching training, we were taught to listen to our intuition

A lot of us questioned how we know if we’re right? In other words, how can we know for sure if we can trust ourselves? You don’t know for sure unless you test it out.

We were instructed as coaches to blurt out what our intuition was telling us, and then wait to see how the client responds. The more we test our intuition and discover that it’s telling the truth, the more we begin to trust ourselves.

Try some experiments

The next time you feel confused about a decision, pay attention to your gut-level reaction. Don’t rationalize or talk yourself out of your feelings. Go with it and see how it turns out.

You can even make a list of times you trust your intuition and things go well. The more you practice trusting yourself, the easier it will become.

If you trust yourself and find out later it was a mistake, learn from it and move on. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s better to trust yourself and be wrong than to not trust yourself at all.

 

— end —

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 2 of 3)

Please read the previous article:

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 1 of 3)

 

Continuation:

 

When we make decisions, there are times the red flags are there, and we ignore them

A real story of one of my childhood girl friends

All the warning signs were there before she married her ex-husband. She can distinctly remember feeling extremely apprehensive the morning of their wedding. She even called me in tears because of something the ex-husband had said to her that morning.

Despite the negative character qualities, she went through with the marriage. She convinced herself that it was the right choice for their little boy, who was only one then. Within one year, they we were separated.

Other times we truly make the best decision we can

Ask any successful entrepreneur about her process of decision making. He will probably tell you he weighed all the pros and cons and tried to anticipate any problems.

He might have looked to the experts for helpful insight. In the end, he made the most informed decision he could. If you ask him if all his decisions were the right ones, he will tell you no.

Life changes; people change. Just because something doesn’t work out the way you wanted does not mean you cannot trust yourself in the future.

Trusting yourself is essential to loving yourself

You know yourself better than anyone and no one is going to take care of you except you. Until you trust yourself, you will not be able to fully trust anyone.

This is again a story of another good childhood girl friend of mine:

For a very long time, every morning her husband would come downstairs before leaving for work. Then he will ask my friend how his hair looked. She (my friend) would tell him it looked fine.

He would go to work and other people would tell him his hair looked good. However, other people or his wife (my friend) could do nothing to convince him that his hair was okay.

He would even say to her, “I don’t know if I can believe people when they say my hair looks good”.

His distrust to anyone is due to his distrust to himself. He was not comfortable with his hair, so he assumed everyone else felt the same way as him.

 

Continue reading:

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 3 of 3)

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 1 of 3)

Learning to trust yourself matters

Reflections

Learning to trust yourself is essential to your success. Whether it be in relationships, business or parenting, trusting your ability to make the right choices for your life will help you stop second guessing your decisions or finding yourself in situations you don’t want to be in.

Have you ever struggled to make a decision or enter into a commitment because you didn’t trust your ability to make the right choice? How many times have you gotten a feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was not right?

Did you pay attention to your intuition or did you ignore it? Deep in our core, we know what is best for us. So why don’t we trust that?

Some of us were taught as a child that we can’t trust ourselves

Maybe we weren’t able to trust our loved ones or our loved ones were unable to trust us. Sometimes life experiences shatter our trust in our self. Perhaps you can recall an event in which you trusted yourself and the outcome was disastrous and painful.

The inability to trust our self can stem from not knowing who we are and what’s important to us. Other times we know what is right for us but we fail to honor that because of fear, external pressure, or a belief that we are not worthy.

Sometimes we do make decisions that don’t turn out as planned

I once signed up for tap dance lessons because I was sure I was going to love it. As a child, I had always wanted to learn tap dancing. Within the first two lessons, I knew I didn’t like it.

Learning to tap dance was hard and boring. I did not have the desire I thought I had. It is fun to watch, but tap dancing was not for me.

 

Continue reading:

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 2 of 3)

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 3 of 3)

An Ideal Leader (Part 2 of 2)

Do not miss out the first part.

 

Continuation:

 

Not about what you make others do

Being a leader is not about what you make others do. It’s about who you are, what you know, and what you do. You are a reflection of what you’re subordinates must be.

Studies have shown that one other bases of good leadership is the trust and confidence your subordinates have of you. If they trust you they will go through hell and high water for you and for the organization.

Trust and confidence

Trust and confidence is built on good relationships, trustworthiness, and high ethics.

The way you deal with your people, and the relationships you build will lay the foundation for the strength of your group. The stronger your relationship, the stronger their trust and confidence is in your capabilities.

Once you have their trust and confidence, you may now proceed to communicate the goals and objectives you are to undertake.

The key

Communication is a very important key to good leadership. Without this you cannot be a good leader. The knowledge and technical expertise you have must be clearly imparted to other people.

Also, you cannot be a good leader and unless you have good judgment. You must be able to assess situations, weigh the pros and cons of any decision, and actively seek out a solution.

It is this judgment that your subordinates will come to rely upon. Therefore, good decision-making is vital to the success of your organization.

Not do-it-all heroes

Leaders are not do-it-all heroes. You should not claim to know everything, and you should not rely upon your skills alone.

You should recognize and take advantage of the skills and talents your subordinates have. Only when you come to this realization will you be able to work as one cohesive unit.

Cannot be learned overnight

Remember being a leader takes a good deal of work and time. It is not learned overnight. Remember, also, that it is not about just you. It is about you and the people around you.

Are you a leader?

So, do you have the drive and the desire to serve required of leaders? Do you have the desire to work cooperatively with other people? Then start now. Take your stand and be leader today.

 

— end —