person saying goodbye to cruel life

Why Do We Feel That Life Can Be Cruel?

Life can be so cruel

The sad truth

Why do we feel that life can be cruel? Watching torture scenes of the prisoners. Thinking of the hunger deaths at many places of the world. Looking at some merciless act around one’s own neighborhood.

Sometimes recollecting the pain we ourselves get from our friends and our enemies. The thought that life can be very cruel comes to mind.

The story of an old man

Recently a story appeared in some newspapers about an old man who came back from jail after 44 years. He was arrested in 1981 for a petty fight with a neighbor and was sent for trial.

Before the trial begin, he was found mentally imbalanced and sent to asylum. He stays in the asylum. At around 2008, after which he was send back to jail for trial.

But all papers relating to his case is nowhere to find by then. Somehow the news filtered out and judiciary was approached about this man’s plight. This man was released recently.

I saw the photograph in the newspapers. It looked as if he was staring at nothing, or was lost in his own pain or something else. But nothing looked natural or happy.

It was a photograph of a life lost. His family had taken him for dead since long, his wife had remarried his brother and life had carried on for them in struggle.

What does this man do now? Who does he come back to? His wife of years ago is no more his wife. The long 38 years have battered him beyond recognition. What will he look forward to?

Pain changes a person

Pain changes a person beyond belief. The battering that one gets from life makes one lose faith in fairness of life. Some unfortunate people undergo so much pain that they no longer remain human beings.

They turn in to some unknown specie that knows how to take pain. The specie that accepts pain, that bears pain, that expects nothing good and that carries on from day to day like a dead person.

They carry so much pain and memories. No amount of compassion can bring them back to the saner world. They have lost their faith in the world, They don’t want to return to that world again to receive more shocks of pain.

All of them are more pained by the memories of the pain. They fear the thought of getting more pain than the pain itself. Life can be very cruel sometimes with some people.

 

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man sitting in front of mountains doing a self-talk

Self-Talk (Part 1 of 4)

We all have Self Talk

So what is Self-Talk? Simply put Self-Talk is the running dialogue in your head. It’s the words you use to describe the experiences in your life. Those are the words you use when you have challenges. The words you use when you’re speaking to others. Like your daily vocabulary.

Look you must realize the power your words command and then choose them wisely.

“People with an impoverished vocabulary live an impoverished emotional life; people with rich vocabularies have a multitude palette of colors with which to paint their experience, not only for others, but for themselves as well”.

– From the book of Anthony RobinsAwaken The Giant Within,

“Its only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away”

Many of us don’t realize the words we habitually choose to use effect how we communicate with ourselves and therefore what we experience. Words are very powerful, they can help or heal. They can make us cry or laugh. Words can create or destroy. They can comfort or cause pain.

Words create emotions, and those words create action, and from those actions your life is formed. Most of your beliefs are created by words, which means they can also be changed by words.

Simply choosing new words to describe how you’re feeling or how you experienced an event can instantly change the emotional experience. If you describe a fantastic experience as being “Ok”. That experience is now diminished and flat because of your limited use of words.

You’re in control of your life

You need to consciously evaluate and keep improving the content of your vocabulary to make sure it’s pulling you in the direction you desire instead of a direction you want to avoid.

Changing choice of words can change your life

Here’s a great example I heard from Anthony Robbins after hearing him speak about this subject at one of his live seminars. After that I re-evaluated my Self-Talk (years ago). And it changed my life BIG TIME!

 

Continue reading:

Self-Talk (Part 2 of 4)

Self-Talk (Part 3 of 4)

an athlete on training and an observer

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 4 of 4)

Read the wonderful recent articles here:

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 1 of 4)

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 2 of 4)

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 3 of 4)

 

Continuation:

 

Form new beliefs

Once you dissolve your old beliefs, you will need to form new beliefs to take their place. Usually this means replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones.

This is a process all its own, and it will take time to fully reinforce the new beliefs in your mind and heart. A helpful activity is to write out the old beliefs. Then write your new and usually opposite beliefs right next to them.

Example: Old belief, “I am not worthy of love.” New belief, “I am worthy of love. I deserve to be loved.”

Then simply keep reinforcing these new beliefs until they become a strong part of your foundation.

Begin rebuilding

This is the fun part! It can be a bit confusing, however. What do we build? And how? Especially if the destruction process was particularly painful and life altering, we may feel at a loss about where to begin again. And the answer is: let your heart lead you.

Think about what you really want your life to be, and then begin taking the steps to create it. That might involve getting an exciting new job, or moving to a new location, or building new relationships.

The important thing is to be sure that your old beliefs have been replaced by new, empowering ones. Otherwise you will simply re-create circumstances that don’t serve you.

You will eventually have to go through the destruction process all over again! Listen closely to the urging of your heart, and use them to guide you along the path to a better life.

This isn’t an easy process by any means

But it is oh so fulfilling and exhilarating if we embrace it and allow it to happen without fighting against the pain and fear.

Through our trials and challenges come new levels of growth, wisdom, and inner strength beyond our wildest dreams. We just need to stay with the process and watch for the rainbows after the storm.

 

— end —

Fear and Reason (Part 4 of 4)

Missed out the previous post? Read them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

 

Continuation:

When a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, nature will work disaster inevitably. Let us stand for the larger liberty.

It is joyously free to take advantage of everything nature may offer for true well-being. There is a partial liberty which tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real. There is a higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real. By using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best.

True wisdom

  1. Take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory.
  2. Freely to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual.
  3. Embrace your science or your method
  4. Ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency.

So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles.

Pain

It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, “There is no pain!” Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist. For why and how declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent?

But if you say, “As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it. To cultivate thought-health so that the cause of pain may be removed,” that is sane and beautiful.

This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”

To undertake swamping pain with a cloud of psychological fog is to turn anarchist against nature. By pain nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal.

The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation. It will confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear.

Fear does exists

I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against “evil.”

Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness.

It is not needed, and is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control. It also absorbs life’s forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values.

 

— end —

Forgiveness: A Path to Healing (Part 1 of 2)

 

In our journey to inner peace and healing, both guilt and forgiveness of self and others have a profound effect on this process.

Guilt is defined as a feeling of culpability especially for imagined offences or from a sense of inadequacy; a self-reproach; and forgiveness as the act of forgiving or the ceasing of feeling resentment against an offender.

Guilt and lack of forgiveness of self and others, burdens many people with the heavy weight of inappropriate shame and the destruction of deep-seated resentments.

In recent years, much has been written about the destructiveness of repressed emotions and particularly anger and resentment in contributing to life-threatening illnesses.

The belief that feeling emotion means we are weak is a dreadful legacy to burden people with. Teaching people that strength means not feeling or denying our feelings is tantamount to creating illness.

Beliefs such as “big boys don’t cry” and “good girls don’t get angry” has resulted in men and women who are unable to get in touch with what they actually feel. Depression is thought to be caused by anger turned inward and is only one of the symptoms of the need to protect ourselves from the scorn associated with expressing feelings.

Many other illnesses and particularly the addictions are theorized to be expressions of a deep level of emotional pain.

Why won’t we forgive? I believe it starts from our unwillingness to forgive ourselves.  We believe that we are undeserving of love, respect, acceptance, appreciation, and the right to live a life where we walk in peace, joy, harmony, and abundance.

Somewhere along the line, we started to believe that all the rules and regulations of the society in which we live defined who we were supposed to be.

We stopped trusting and believing in our own inherent worth and came to believe that we were “not good enough.” Messages such as “you failed” or “you should” became a litany for us to abuse ourselves with guilt.

 

Continue reading Part 2 here.