crumpled paper after a mistake

Conflict Mistakes

What do I do when I’ve “blown it?”

One of the questions I receive most often from my newsletter subscribers is what do I do when I’ve “blown it?”

As one good friend said: I forgot all the great ways I know to address a conflict. I reprimanded an employee by basically attacking her character. I did apologize, and, thankfully, she is not quitting. But things feel awkward, and I’m wondering if there’s something I can do to help the situation besides apologize.

Apologize

First, this person did just the right thing—she apologized, and she didn’t wait too long to do it. It’s important to remember that we all react occasionally in ways that we think better of later.

Once you apologize, give it time. Continue to center, breathe, smile, and treat the employee with respect.

In addition, hold the vision that with time your relationship will be back on the right track. Visualize how you want the relationship to look as you continue to work together, and begin acting on that vision in your daily communication.

Think of a physical wound

It takes time to heal. While it’s healing, you treat the wound gently, keep it clean, maybe smooth some cream on it to help the healing process.

It’s the same with healing a relationship

Keep your communication clean, gentle, and yet honest and direct. Say hello, how’s it going? Treat her as you would under normal circumstances, yet with the awareness of what did occur.  You don’t pretend the conflict never happened, but you don’t have to abase yourself either.

It’s only not up to us

Finally, remember that it’s not only up to you. You have a part in this, and so does she, you cannot do her part for her, you can only do yours. If you give the employee room, she will find her way back to the strong connection that once existed.

 

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Habits Of The Unsuccessful (Part 1 of 2)

The big difference

The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is, successful people do what other people won’t do. If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these deadly habits of the unsuccessful and incompetent people do.

Habits of the unsuccessful and incompetent:

They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things

Yes. They see problems in EVERY opportunity. These people complain that the sun is too hot. They cursed the rain for ruining their plans for the day. Not to mention that they blame the wind for ruining their hair.

They think that everyone is against them. They see the problems but never the solutions. Every little bit of difficulty is exaggerated to the point of tragedy. Failures often regarded as catastrophes.

Easily they become discouraged instead of learning from their mistakes. These are the kind of people who are afraid to come out of their comfort zone. As a result, they never seem to move forward.

They Usually Act Before They Think

They move based on instinct or impulse. If they see something they like, they buy at once without any second thought. Then they see something better. They regret & curse for not able to take advantage of the bargain.

Then they spend & spend again until nothing’s left. They don’t think about the future. What they’re after is the pleasure they will experience at present. They don’t think about the consequences. Those who engage in unsafe sex, criminality, and the like are included in this group.

They Talk Much More Than They Listen

They want to be the star of the show. So they always engage in talks that would make them heroes, even to the point of lying. Oftentimes they are not aware that what they’re saying is not sensible anymore.

When other people advise them, they close their ears because they’re too proud to admit their mistakes. In their mind they’re always correct. They reject suggestions because that will make them feel inferior.

 

Continue reading:

Habits Of The Unsuccessful (Part 2 of 2)

Becoming A Student Of Life (Part 2 of 2)

Do not miss out the first part.

 

Continuation:

 

Keep an Open Heart

Express deep gratitude for your life, and all of the experiences you have – even the not so pleasant ones. Be willing to be vulnerable in your connections with others, and allow yourself to feel.

Too often we are afraid of our emotions and try to numb them or run away from them. Instead, let your emotions be your teachers. Listen to them, and honor them. They will teach you a lot about yourself.

Look for the Lesson

In every experience, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Sometimes the lesson is obvious, and sometimes you’ll have to search for it. With every lesson, allow it to become a part of you and make you a better, stronger, happier person.

Though we all make mistakes and stumble, the goal is to make new mistakes. It is better than repeating the same ones over and over again. As long as we are making progress, we’re doing great! Use your own awareness to overcome challenges and keep moving forward.

Enjoy the Journey

Most of us take life so seriously! Yes, it does have its serious moments. Overall this is supposed to be a pleasant experience, and we can make it that way by simply choosing to.

Don’t worry so much about whether you’re making as much progress as you should. Don’t get frustrated when things don’t always work out as planned. Instead take a lighter attitude and understand that it’s all just a journey. The point is to relax and enjoy.

Imagine and focus

Imagine that you’re a beautiful white sponge, and you come across these brilliant pools of colored liquid. There’s a red pool of passion, a pink pool of love, a yellow pool of knowledge, a green pool of gratitude, and a purple pool of fun.

Go ahead and dip your sponge toe into each of these pools, and your color will begin to change. Rather than being a plain white sponge, you are now a beautiful, multi-colored sponge, filled with passion, love, knowledge, gratitude, and fun.

Unfortunately, there are also a few pools of black, brackish stuff like negative self-talk, fear, regrets, etc. If you accidentally absorb some of this and it begins to taint your colors, don’t worry about it too much.

Just focus on revisiting the pretty, colorful pools and absorbing more good stuff. It will dilute the negative stuff, and eventually get rid of it all together.

 

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How To Overcome The Fear Of Failure

 

Some people will have to deal with managing the failure of failure during their lifetime. They are so afraid of failing or not making it that they become very anxious.

Here are some steps on how to manage the fear of failure in your life.

It is best to have at least have tried than not to try at all. Do you want to go through the rest of your life not knowing that you could of made it? At least if you try, you will know for sure if you would have made it.

Another benefit of giving something a try is that you can learn from your mistakes. If your first attempt doesn’t work out, then at least you know what went wrong. If you decide to do that task again you will know what to do which will increase your chance of success.

If you are afraid to fail at a certain task, then develop some kind of back up plan for you to rely on in case you do fail. For instance, let’s say that you are afraid that you will not pass a certain class in school. Develop a plan B for yourself in case you do not pass the class. This will reduce your stress and take the pressure of taking the test and passing. If you don’t make it, you have something to fall back on.

Ask yourself what is the worse that can happen. Think about it. What will you lose if you don’t make it the first or second time? Yes, it might be a set back, but you had set backs before. Tell yourself that you will not succeed at everything in life and that will help reduce your anxieties.

Fear of failure can be a struggle for some people, however the worst part is not to at least try. You don’t want to go through life wondering whether you could have made it or not. If you fear to fail, then, you just did failed.