Tag: love

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 2 of 3)

Please read the previous article:

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 1 of 3)

 

Continuation:

 

When we make decisions, there are times the red flags are there, and we ignore them

A real story of one of my childhood girl friends

All the warning signs were there before she married her ex-husband. She can distinctly remember feeling extremely apprehensive the morning of their wedding. She even called me in tears because of something the ex-husband had said to her that morning.

Despite the negative character qualities, she went through with the marriage. She convinced herself that it was the right choice for their little boy, who was only one then. Within one year, they we were separated.

Other times we truly make the best decision we can

Ask any successful entrepreneur about her process of decision making. He will probably tell you he weighed all the pros and cons and tried to anticipate any problems.

He might have looked to the experts for helpful insight. In the end, he made the most informed decision he could. If you ask him if all his decisions were the right ones, he will tell you no.

Life changes; people change. Just because something doesn’t work out the way you wanted does not mean you cannot trust yourself in the future.

Trusting yourself is essential to loving yourself

You know yourself better than anyone and no one is going to take care of you except you. Until you trust yourself, you will not be able to fully trust anyone.

This is again a story of another good childhood girl friend of mine:

For a very long time, every morning her husband would come downstairs before leaving for work. Then he will ask my friend how his hair looked. She (my friend) would tell him it looked fine.

He would go to work and other people would tell him his hair looked good. However, other people or his wife (my friend) could do nothing to convince him that his hair was okay.

He would even say to her, “I don’t know if I can believe people when they say my hair looks good”.

His distrust to anyone is due to his distrust to himself. He was not comfortable with his hair, so he assumed everyone else felt the same way as him.

 

Continue reading:

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 3 of 3)

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Living The Dream (Part 1 of 3)

I’m living the dream, anyone?

I know people in my life who when asked how are things going, will reply, “I’m living the dream.”

Can you say the same? If you could, what would it mean?

Sigmund Freud, a psychologists have been saying that there are two major areas in a person’s life—love and work.

When you are “living the dream,” you will be able to say that you have found satisfying work and are fulfilled in the relationships you share with the important people in your life.

Now, I ask again, “Are you living the dream?” Let’s talk about work first. When you wake up in the morning, are you filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation for what your day at work has in store for you or do you have a sense of dread about what lies ahead?

Of course, these are two opposite ends of the spectrum and more than likely you fall somewhere in between.

As a parent, I always advised my children to choose a profession they love. That’s because they will be spending a lot of their time doing it. I don’t want them to be one of many who hates their job and dreads going to work every day. That is a terrible burden to bear.

So, what can you do if you are one of those people?

Purpose in life

Have you discovered your definite purpose in life? We are here on earth with a variety of gifts that will help us make the world a better place to live. We all have unique skills, interests and abilities that will add to the good of mankind. All of us fulfill our own inner desires. What is your unique, definite purpose?

I believe mine is to help people learn to lead more satisfying lives and to get along better with the important people in them. That’s what I do. I love to do it.

I am energize when I do it. And although I generally get paid for the things I do, I love doing them so much, I would do them for free! This is what I wish for everyone in the area of work.

Many of us are living the dream but it is someone else’s dream. Are you working for the “man” without any pay off? What do I mean by a pay off? Why do you get up and go to work everyday? What motivates you? If it is only the paycheck, then you are living someone else’s dream.

 

Continue reading Part 2 and Last Part.

Man and Woman

No woman is worthy to be a wife who on the day of her marriage is not lost absolutely and entirely in an atmosphere of love and perfect trust; the supreme sacredness of the relation is the only thing which, at the time, should possess her soul.

Women should not “obey” men any more than men should obey women. There are six requisites in every happy marriage; the first is Faith, and the remaining five are Confidence.

Nothing so compliments a man as for a woman to believe in him nothing so pleases a woman as for a man to place confidence in her.

Obey? God help me! Yes, if I loved a woman, my whole heart’s desire would be to obey her slightest wish. And how could I love her unless I had perfect confidence that she would only aspire to what was beautiful, true and right?

And to enable her to realize this ideal, her wish would be to me a sacred command; and her attitude of mind toward me I know would be the same. And the only rivalry between us would be as to who could love the most; and the desire to obey would be the one controlling impulse of our lives.

We gain freedom by giving it, and he who bestows faith gets it back with interest. To bargain and stipulate in love is to lose.

Perfect faith implies perfect love; and perfect love cast out fear. It is always the fear of imposition, and a lurking intent to rule, that causes the woman to haggle over a word it is absence of love, a limitation, an incapacity. The price of a perfect love is an absolute and complete surrender.

To give a man something for nothing tends to make the individual dissatisfied with himself.

Your enemies are the ones you have helped.

And when an individual is dissatisfied with himself he is dissatisfied with the whole world and with you.

A man’s quarrel with the world is only a quarrel with himself. But so strong is this inclination to lay blame elsewhere and take credit to ourselves, that when we are unhappy we say it is the fault of this woman or that man. Especially do women attribute their misery to that man?

And often the trouble is he has given her too much for nothing.

This truth is a reversible, back-action one, well lubricated by use, working both ways as the case may be.

That form of affection which drives sharp bargains and makes demands, gets a check on the bank in which there is no balance.

There is nothing so costly as something you get for nothing.

Self-appreciation: The Key To Living A Life Of Joy (Part 1 of 2)

 

How do you appreciate yourself?  Or do you?  Did you learn that being good to yourself was selfish?  If you said ‘No’ were you bad?  If you praised yourself or were praised, were people afraid you might get a ‘swelled head’?

Most of us get the message loud and clear that praising ourselves or others would lead to ‘becoming conceited’ or ‘slacking off.’ The tragedy of this belief is that, in fact, the very opposite is true. What you pay attention to expands.

Self-appreciation and appreciation of others is based on love and acceptance. In other words, as I am willing to love me, I am capable of loving you.

Much of what we say and do is called ‘constructive criticism.’ This means I tell you something supposedly for ‘your own good.’

What actually happens is that I judge what you do and say based on ‘should’ then I tell you how to ‘do it right.’ In other words, criticism is destructive and leads people to feelings of inadequacy: love and acceptance lead to feelings of self-worth.

Remember: the most important task you have is loving and accepting yourself.

What is Self-appreciation?

Self is defined as the entire person of an individual while appreciation is defined as a judgment or evaluation; an expression of admiration, approval, or gratitude. Self-appreciation is about saying: ‘I accept myself exactly as I am.’

It is about acknowledging our unique gifts and knowing within each of us is a highly creative, skilled being just waiting for discovery.

Self-appreciation is not about putting others down or thinking yourself better; it is about loving ourselves the way we are and in turn loving others the way they are.

Remember: I can only accept and love you if I am willing to love and accept myself and acknowledge my own self-worth.

 

Continue reading Part 2.

Loving

 

Our life is all about love.

God is love, and the most important lesson He wants us to learn is how to love. It is in loving that we are most like Him. Love is the foundation of every command He has given to us. The whole law summed up with these: Love God above else, and Love others as you love yourself.

Yet, learning to love unselfishly is not an easy task. It runs counter to our self-centered nature. That is why we are given a lifetime to learn it. God wants us to love everyone, but He is more particularly concerned that we learn to love others in his family.

That is one of the purpose of our lives. The apostle Peter tells us “show special love for God’s people”. Paul echoes this sentiment: “when we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it, but we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.”

God do insist that we give special love and attention to other believers. God wanted believers to get priority in loving, because God wants his family to be known for its love more than anything else.

Jesus said our love for each other, not our doctrinal beliefs, is our greatest witness to the world. He said “your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”

In heaven we will enjoy God’s family forever, but first we have some tough work to do here on earth to prepare ourselves for an eternity of loving. God trains us by giving us “family responsibilities,” and the foremost of these is to practice loving each other.

God wants us to be in regular, close fellowship with other believers so we can develop the skill of loving. Love cannot be learned in isolation. You have to be around people, those irritating, imperfect, frustrating people.