couple dreams and doing a plan

Future Plans or Dreams?

Rationale

People tend to look in the future with perspective. That is, probably, a remarkable characteristics of human beings.

Sure, very often future seems quite vague and uncertain, which makes people feel distressed and at a loss. For this reason we plan events and dream of achieving best results in what we plan.

The dream

So, what is the key difference between a future plan and a dream? A dream has some special taste or smell, whatever. It is very often our fantasy, our cherished desire, some crazy wish.

We may know that we’ll never get what we dream about but still have and keep our dream for quite a long time.

Moreover, some really funny things can turn into dreams for someone, like having a bath full of macaroni (as it was described in one movie), and a person will live the entire life with such a dream.

Plans

Plans are considered to be much more down-to-earth. Nowadays planning is everywhere: when at job we have daily schedule, even household chores are planned.

But of course there are more “global-like” or serious plans, like buying a house at the seaside in 10 years or so. The latter example can be attributed to both dreams and plans.

Thus a dream can turn into a plan, if you have some strategy of achieving your aim. There is one more aspect: plans are not always what we really want to get; very often we have to plan unpleasant things for us.

A school-boy plans to write his final essay by the deadline, but that’s not what he wants to do. Well, he wants to get a good result, but the whole process may be far from pleasant for him.

However, the plan is with him. A new bike can be a dream for this boy, if his family is not rich or is against such presents. Still, this dream can soon transform into a plan.

As we see, plans and dreams, despite some differences, are often inter-connected and inter-dependant. That is because they have one important thing in common: they are about future, which is indeed uncertain.

Because of such uncertainty, dreams at times turn to be more realistic than plans. That’s life.

We dream then plan

Since childhood we dream and plan. We want to open at least a small slot in the doors to the future; that is the sweetness of uncertainty, which may end with bitterness or a greater sweetness.

Anyway, both planning and dreaming follow us in the course of our whole life, because they give us grounds, which is more, they provide us with a reason for living.

 

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cemetery where the dead dwells

Death Changes Perspective of Living

A change in perspective

We live and we die

We live and we die. But while living, most of us don’t keep the thought of death in mind. A person suffering from an incurable disease may keep it in his/her mind, but not a normal person suffering from ordinary ailments.

For a very big population on the earth, life is perpetual. That is how they think and live. Is this a right attitude? To a certain extent this is a right attitude and at times, wrong. Let us analyze further.

We not only live our life thinking that we will not die, but we also behave with others as if they will also not die.

A story

Let me give you an example. Let us talk about a friend. He/she does something or speaks something. We are deeply hurt and feel bad, and we begin blaming the other person for many things.

We don’t think of forgiving and carrying on. Why? Suppose that friend of ours meets his/her death after a week. What will be our reaction? We will go in a remorseful mood and blame ourselves.

The bad feelings that we had for that person loses all the meaning. That person is no more and no critical analysis or one-upmanship will help now. The situation has changed totally.

Accidents occur everyday

Anyone of us may die at any moment. No one knows about the time of his/her death. We all believe that we will live to a ripe old age and will die only after that. Sometimes, we don’t even think of that.

How about changing our perspective? How about keeping the thought in our mind at all times that – the person I am hating so much now, or I am arguing with so much now, may even die after an hour by meeting with some freak accident.

This may change our perspective about all our relationships. Is this not true? It will change our thoughts about ourselves also. We will all begin thinking more of today and worry less about tomorrow.

Life is precious

Every life is very precious. Every heart is precious. Why hurt anyone including your own self? Forgive everyone. Begin with yourself. Let death change our perspective.

 

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Living The Dream (Part 3 of 3)

Do not miss out the first and second part.

 

Continuation:

 

Here are some steps you can take:

  1. You must clearly examine whether or not you are happy and satisfied with your current life’s work and your relationships with the important people in your life. If you are, then congratulations are in order and you need to read no further.
  2. If you are not satisfied, then you must clearly delineate what the problems are and the source of your unhappiness.
  3. Next, you must identify a solution over which you, yourself, are in control. That means you must formulate a solution that doesn’t involve someone else doing something differently. You know what I mean. “I could be happy if my wife would just cook dinner every night”. “I would love this job if only the boss would get off of my case.”
  4. If you are unable to think of a solution that is solely up to you, then daydream about what the perfect job or the perfect relationship would look like. How would you be, what would you have and what would you be doing? Assess your interests, skills and abilities to uncover your definite purpose. What is it you were destined to do?
  5. Once you have your ideal picture in your mind, ask yourself what is stopping you? What would you have to give up to move in the direction of your dream? Which obstacles do you face? What do you fear?
  6. Now you must formulate a plan that has a reasonable chance of success. I’m not suggesting that you file for divorce or quit your job. We need to  come up with a plan. A plan that will move you forward in the direction you want to go. You can take small, baby steps as long as you do something each day that will move you along the path of living your dream.
  7. The final step is to develop the strength to actually take the action you planned in Step 6. Making a plan is great but it will never accomplish anything if you don’t take action. Les Brown tells us, “You don’t have to be great to get started; but you have to get started to be great.” Do something.

If you are having difficulty with any of these steps, then perhaps coaching would help you. Coaching provides just the right balance of support and encouragement with challenge and accountability. You decide. Do you want to live your dream or someone else’s?

 

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Living The Dream (Part 2 of 3)

Do not miss out the wonderfully crafted first part.

 

Continuation:

 

Work should be the motivation

Your work should be something that motivates you, gives you pleasure, provides something valuable to others and is in line with your definite purpose. If that doesn’t describe your work, you may want to take some time to reevaluate.

You may think you are too old to change careers now or to go out on your own. However, in ten, fifteen or twenty years you are still going to be the same age whether you invest in your own dream or not. So what’s stopping you?

Relationships

Now, let’s look at your relationships. What is the state of your current relationships with the important people in your life? I suppose I should start with the question: Do you have important people in your life?

Hopefully, the answer to that question is yes, but if not, there is help available. You can improve your relationship skills and learn to make new friends and develop those relationships to their fullest. Everyone needs to have human contact in order to survive.

Some of us have companionship but we are unhappy in these relationships. How can you live the dream when you feel miserable around the people who are suppose to support and encourage you?

Getting our relationships in order is a critical task that too many ignore. We look around us and see lots of other people in unhappy or mediocre relationships and we tell ourselves that is just the way it is. No one is truly happy. That is not true.

Creating healthy relationships is a matter of choice. You are not destined to be in a miserable relationship. Do you remember what it was like when you first got together? It was more than chemistry. There was something between you that made you know each other was special. You can regain that feeling.

Most of us never learn healthy relationship skills. We think it is something we are suppose to know how to do but how good were our teachers? Shouldn’t you learn relationship skills from someone who has strong relationships and who knows how to maintain them?

Every single one of us is entitled to live our dream

Living the dream is not just for a few select individuals. It is possible and we have a right to be happy and satisfied.

 

Continue reading the last part.

Living The Dream (Part 1 of 3)

I’m living the dream, anyone?

I know people in my life who when asked how are things going, will reply, “I’m living the dream.”

Can you say the same? If you could, what would it mean?

Sigmund Freud, a psychologists have been saying that there are two major areas in a person’s life—love and work.

When you are “living the dream,” you will be able to say that you have found satisfying work and are fulfilled in the relationships you share with the important people in your life.

Now, I ask again, “Are you living the dream?” Let’s talk about work first. When you wake up in the morning, are you filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation for what your day at work has in store for you or do you have a sense of dread about what lies ahead?

Of course, these are two opposite ends of the spectrum and more than likely you fall somewhere in between.

As a parent, I always advised my children to choose a profession they love. That’s because they will be spending a lot of their time doing it. I don’t want them to be one of many who hates their job and dreads going to work every day. That is a terrible burden to bear.

So, what can you do if you are one of those people?

Purpose in life

Have you discovered your definite purpose in life? We are here on earth with a variety of gifts that will help us make the world a better place to live. We all have unique skills, interests and abilities that will add to the good of mankind. All of us fulfill our own inner desires. What is your unique, definite purpose?

I believe mine is to help people learn to lead more satisfying lives and to get along better with the important people in them. That’s what I do. I love to do it.

I am energize when I do it. And although I generally get paid for the things I do, I love doing them so much, I would do them for free! This is what I wish for everyone in the area of work.

Many of us are living the dream but it is someone else’s dream. Are you working for the “man” without any pay off? What do I mean by a pay off? Why do you get up and go to work everyday? What motivates you? If it is only the paycheck, then you are living someone else’s dream.

 

Continue reading Part 2 and Last Part.