Tag: focus

Finding The Gift In Every Situation (Part 2 of 2)

Learn to find the gift, read the previous article:

Finding The Gift In Every Situation (Part 1 of 2)

 

Continuation:

 

We already know what it is. During the happier moments of our lives, we can further honor this positive energy by expressing our deepest gratitude and joy.

Rather than just feeling glad about our good fortune, we can purposely focus our thoughts on massive amounts of joy and gratitude, and consciously immerse ourselves in happiness.

We can shout our thanks to the heavens and affirm that we welcome even more blessings in our lives.

Focus on the positive side

Choosing to focus on the positive side doesn’t mean living our lives in denial. It doesn’t mean refusing to acknowledge the negative or mundane aspects of our lives.

It means we see them, we accept them, and then we look beyond them rather than getting mired in negative thoughts and letting them affect the rest of our day.

Our thoughts are higher than our struggles

Looking for the gift means choosing to lift our thoughts higher than our struggles. It removes us from our victim status and empowers us. No matter what happens in our lives, we have the ability to choose our attitude and our mindset.

We can choose to focus on happiness, joy, love and gratitude, or we can stay mired in unhappiness and struggle.

Focusing on the gifts and blessings in our lives won’t make all of our problems vanish overnight, or at all. But it reduces their importance and helps them to fade into the background a bit.

We create in our lives what we focus on the most. By choosing to focus on the positive, we attract more positive energy into our lives.

Things to ponder

Stop for a moment and look at your surroundings right now. What gifts or lessons are available to you in your current circumstances? And will you choose to embrace them and fully benefit from them?

 

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The Art Of Listening

Listening is an art

Everyone has a story to tell. However, not everyone may be willing to listen. Sometimes, we are amaze in an unpleasant way. Over the fact that we have not been paying attention to the one speaking to us.

At some point along the story, our mind has wandered off, and we only drift back to reality when suddenly asked, “Are you still listening?”

Benefits of listening

That would be most unfortunate, since next to our visual skills, our ability to listen allows us to reap various benefits. If we listen to our mentor as he shares with us useful thoughts on life, we become good apprentices.

We listen to our professor as he lectures about the day’s lesson, we become good students. If we listen to our boss as he explains the rationale of the company’s recent policy, we become good employees.

We listen to our parents as they advise us regarding career choices, we become good sons/daughters. If we listen to a friend in dire need of unloading his troubles, we become good friends.

In short, listening is vital in developing good human relationships.

To maximize our listening capability, here are a few tips

Focus

It is but a single word, but its message conveys far more. Being focused means paying attention, and a lot of it at that. It means temporarily forgetting about other matters of consequence and lending a few minutes of your time to hear someone speak his mind out.

Means giving interest to whatever it is that the speaker might want to say. It is taking his words seriously into consideration in whatever decision we are to make.

It is placing his story in the context of his emotions, and trying to understand him within the events occurring in his life.

Watch out for non-verbal cues

The message need not always lie on the words, but also in movements that the speaker makes. If we also pay good attention to the speaker’s eyes, facial expressions, and gestures, we will be able to receive the message in totality.

Moreover, if the speaker realizes that we are sincerely listening, we are boosting his confidence.

Be sensitive

A good measure of sensitivity is also essential to maintain enthusiasm in the part of the person speaking. If the person is at the peak of his emotions, do not interrupt.

After all, if someone is extremely angry or anguished, it will be a form of catharsis to remain patient until he has calmed down. Unless the person is already causing bodily harm, it will do him well to let him be purged of his bad feelings.

Show unconditional openness

We may not always agree with what someone has to say, but being there to listen may be the least we can offer. While we may have different opinions about several issues, keeping our horizons wide is a healthy attitude.

 

With these perspectives in listening, we become open to a world of unlimited learning and diverse experiences.

 

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Problem Solving With Reality Therapy (Part 2 of 3)

Read more about the Reality Therapy. Go back to recent article in case you missed it. Please check out the link below:

Problem Solving With Reality Therapy (Part 1 of 3)

 

Continuation:

 

After creating this need-satisfying environment and working hard to maintain it throughout the relationship, the helper can move on to the actual problem.

Hear the person’s story

The helper needs to determine what the ideal solution. And what would it look like from the other person’s point of view.

For example, if the person were complaining about a fight he have with his girlfriend. Ask the question, “What do you want to happen? How do you want this to work out?”

It is critical to get a specific picture of what the ideal solution will look like from the perspective of the person experiencing the problem. The helper is leading him or her away from the problem and into a problem-solution mode.

In this way, the focus is off the past and the problem, which cannot be changed. The focus instead is on the behavior the person can create to move himself in the direction of the solution he wants.

Inventory of ‘things’

The next step is to take an inventory of things the person is doing to attempt to get the situation to work out the way he wants. The helper asks the person to list the steps he is taking to move closer to his or her goal.

Typically, the person will only list positive things. But the helper needs to ask them to consider everything he is doing. Something he do that is both helping and hindering his or her progress.

It is even acceptable for the helper to add in some observations of his or her own. The point is to get as complete a picture as possible. In addition to considering one’s outward behavior, ask about their thoughts, feelings and physiology (if appropriate), as well.

 

Continue reading:

Problem Solving With Reality Therapy (Part 3 of 3)

An Age Old Secret For Accessing Knowledge (Part 3 of 4)

In case you miss them out, read the previous article parts below:

An Age Old Secret For Accessing Knowledge (Part 1 of 4)

An Age Old Secret For Accessing Knowledge (Part 2 of 4)

 

Continuation:

 

If you get any sense of discomfort between you, thank the expert for coming, and politely dismiss him or her. Think of another expert you admire in your chosen field and create an imaginary encounter with that person. You may even have to create a totally fictitious character to be your imaginary expert.

The chosen expert

Once you have established a meeting with your chosen expert, mentally picture yourself and your visiting expert standing facing each other in an attitude of great respect.

Gently put your arms out and slowly remove the expert’s head from his or her body. Since this is only an imaginary person or animal, the head should come off quite easily.

Place the expert’s head above your own, facing the right way, and lower it over your own head. Now believe that you are looking out at the world through the eyes of your chosen expert, hearing through the expert’s ears, smelling through the expert’s nose.

Take the time to allow the expert’s mind to slowly merge with your own mind. Now gently pull the expert’s body towards you, and step into it. Feel as if it fits you perfectly. Feel that you have merged with the expert’s body and can feel and do the same things.

When you feel that you are actually in the expert’s body, notice what seems different to you. Does the world look different in any way? Do any of your attitudes feel different? How does your body feel different? Can you feel the confident attitude of the expert? Memorize the sensation.

Focus

Focus on the differences you notice and start to talk about them out loud. Spend at least five minutes doing this step. When you have finished, gently step out of the borrowed imaginary body and carefully remove the expert’s head from you own.

Respectfully return the head and body to the expert. Thank that person for allowing you to have this experience.

 

Continue reading the last part:

An Age Old Secret For Accessing Knowledge (Part 4 of 4)

Becoming A Student Of Life (Part 2 of 2)

Do not miss out the first part.

 

Continuation:

 

Keep an Open Heart

Express deep gratitude for your life, and all of the experiences you have – even the not so pleasant ones. Be willing to be vulnerable in your connections with others, and allow yourself to feel.

Too often we are afraid of our emotions and try to numb them or run away from them. Instead, let your emotions be your teachers. Listen to them, and honor them. They will teach you a lot about yourself.

Look for the Lesson

In every experience, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Sometimes the lesson is obvious, and sometimes you’ll have to search for it. With every lesson, allow it to become a part of you and make you a better, stronger, happier person.

Though we all make mistakes and stumble, the goal is to make new mistakes. It is better than repeating the same ones over and over again. As long as we are making progress, we’re doing great! Use your own awareness to overcome challenges and keep moving forward.

Enjoy the Journey

Most of us take life so seriously! Yes, it does have its serious moments. Overall this is supposed to be a pleasant experience, and we can make it that way by simply choosing to.

Don’t worry so much about whether you’re making as much progress as you should. Don’t get frustrated when things don’t always work out as planned. Instead take a lighter attitude and understand that it’s all just a journey. The point is to relax and enjoy.

Imagine and focus

Imagine that you’re a beautiful white sponge, and you come across these brilliant pools of colored liquid. There’s a red pool of passion, a pink pool of love, a yellow pool of knowledge, a green pool of gratitude, and a purple pool of fun.

Go ahead and dip your sponge toe into each of these pools, and your color will begin to change. Rather than being a plain white sponge, you are now a beautiful, multi-colored sponge, filled with passion, love, knowledge, gratitude, and fun.

Unfortunately, there are also a few pools of black, brackish stuff like negative self-talk, fear, regrets, etc. If you accidentally absorb some of this and it begins to taint your colors, don’t worry about it too much.

Just focus on revisiting the pretty, colorful pools and absorbing more good stuff. It will dilute the negative stuff, and eventually get rid of it all together.

 

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