Tag: fear

Conquering Your Fears (Part 1 of 3)

Conquering your fears. Can you? Have you ever had a fear that kept you from living life fully? Perhaps this fear has stopped you from having MORE fun or experiencing GREATER success. Yes? You’re not alone. I have too.

Let me tell you a story from a great friend:

Fear that stops enjoying life to the fullest

The fear I conquered in the story below may not be my biggest fear. But with a little reflection I saw how it really stopped me from enjoying my family and life to the fullest.

It also taught me a valuable lesson of how taking steps to overcome my fear resulted in increased self confidence.

At the end of my story, I’ll give you tips for conquering your own fears.

Not the biggest fear

A few weekends ago my husband and I took our daughter Kasie, and my nephew Zach, to a water park. We all love the water and were having a blast until my hubby and the kids took off for. Those are the water slides.

As they enthusiastically ran to the slides I slowed way down. In fact, I stopped, found a chair and proceeded to organize our belongings.

As I settled into a lawn chair I saw Kasie and Zach whoosh down their side-by-side slides and plunge, feet first, into the cool water. They quickly resurfaced, sputtering and laughing and ready for more.

As Zach jumped out of the pool to run back up the stairs he looked at me laughing. Then he said, “Cari’s being a wimp.” He was right. I was.

You see, even though I love the water I’ve always been afraid of — water slides.

Time has come to make a choice

On this particular day however, the kid pressure was too great. I decided it was the time and place to conquer my old fear. As I hurried to the steps my chest tightened and my breathing became very shallow.

Each step I took to reach the top of the slide made me feel anxious, awkward and scared to death.

 

Continue reading Part 2 and Last Part.

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Fear and Reason (Part 4 of 4)

Missed out the previous post? Read them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

 

Continuation:

When a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, nature will work disaster inevitably. Let us stand for the larger liberty.

It is joyously free to take advantage of everything nature may offer for true well-being. There is a partial liberty which tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real. There is a higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real. By using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best.

True wisdom

  1. Take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory.
  2. Freely to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual.
  3. Embrace your science or your method
  4. Ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency.

So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles.

Pain

It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, “There is no pain!” Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist. For why and how declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent?

But if you say, “As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it. To cultivate thought-health so that the cause of pain may be removed,” that is sane and beautiful.

This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.”

To undertake swamping pain with a cloud of psychological fog is to turn anarchist against nature. By pain nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal.

The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation. It will confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear.

Fear does exists

I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against “evil.”

Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness.

It is not needed, and is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control. It also absorbs life’s forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values.

 

— end —

Fear and Reason (Part 3 of 4)

Please read the first part and second part.

 

Continuation:

Fear, anyone?

The reaction has always a good intention, meaning, in each case, “Take care! Danger!” You will see that this if you will look for a moment at three kinds of fear. Those are fear of self, fear for self, fear for others.

Fear of self is indirectly fear for self-danger. Fear for others signifies fore sensed or fore pictured distress to self because of anticipated misfortune to others. I often wonder when we fear for others, it is distress to self or hurt to them. More often than not, that is most emphatically in our thoughts.

Fear, then, is usually regarded as the soul’s danger signal. But the true signal is instinctive and thoughtful reason.

Even instinct and reason, acting as warning, may perform their duty abnormally, or assume abnormal proportions. And then we have the feeling of fear. The normal warning is induced by actual danger apprehended by mind in a state of balance and self-control.

Normal mind is always capable of such warning. There are two ways in which so-called normal fear acting in the guise of reason, may be annihilated. It can be by the substitution of reason for fear, and by the assurance of the white life.

Normal fear

Normal fear means normal reason real fear being denied place and function altogether. Then we may say that such action of reason is a benefactor to man. It is, with pain and weariness, the philanthropy of the nature of things within us.

One person said: “Tired? No such word in my house!” Now this cannot be a sound and healthy attitude. Weariness, at a certain stage of effort, is a signal to stop work. When one is too busy then lose consciousness of the feeling of weariness, he has issued a “hurry call” on death.

I do not deny that the soul may cultivate a sublime sense of buoyancy and power; rather do I urge you to seek that beautiful condition.

 

Continue reading last part.

Fear and Reason (Part 2 of 4)

Please do not miss out the the wonderful first part.

 

Continuation:

“Everyone can testify that the psychical state called fear consists of mental representations of certain painful results.”

-William James

The mental representations may be very faint as such, but the idea of hurt to self is surely present. It is a belief that the real self cannot be hurt. The reason can be brought to consider vividly and believing all quieting considerations.

How to remove fear “as far as the east is from the west”

  1. If the self can hold consciously in the assurance that the White Life surrounds the true self
  2. If surely within that self, and will suffer “no evil to come night,”
  3. All the instincts of self preservation may be perfectly active

Ways for fear may be divided

As a warning and as a maker of panic. The warning should be understood as given to reason. Fear need not appear at all, and that the panic is perfectly useless pain. With these discrimination in mind, we may now go on to a preliminary study of fear.

Fear is an impulse, a habit, and a disease.

Fear, as it exists in man, is a make-believe of sanity, a creature of the imagination, a state of insanity. Furthermore, fear is, now of the nerves, now of the mind, now of the moral consciousness.

The division depends upon the point of view. “Normal fear” should give place to reason, using the word to cover instinct as well as thought. From the correct point of view all fear is an evil so long as entertained.

Whatever manifestations, wherever apparent location, fear is a psychic state. Fear reacts upon the individual in several ways. In the nerves, in mental moods, in a single impulse, in a chronic habit, in a totally unbalanced condition.

 

Continue reading Part 3 and Part 4

Fear and Reason (Part 1 of 4)

 

We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal. Normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an enemy.

“In civilized life it has at last become possible for large numbers of people to pass from the cradle to the grave without ever having had a pang of genuine fear. Many of us need an attack of mental disease to teach us the meaning of the word.”

– William James

The fact is that no “normal fear” can be named which has not been clearly absent in some people. People who have had every cause there for. Running over human history in your mind, or look about in the present life.

You will find persons who in situations or before objects which ought, as any fearful soul will insist. It will inspire the feeling of at least normal self-protecting fear. Nevertheless wholly without the feeling. They possess every feeling and thought demanded except fear.

Self-preservation

The idea of self-preservation is strongly present as with the most abjectly timid or terrified, but fear they don’t know. This fearless awareness of fear suggesting conditions may be due to several causes. It may result from constitutional make-up, or from long continued training or habituation.

Maybe from religious ecstasy, or from a perfectly calm sense of spiritual self-hood which is unhurtable. Can also from the action of very exalted reason. Whatever the explanation fact remains.

The very causes which excite fear in most of us, merely appeal, with such people, if at all. To the instinct of self-preservation and to reason. The thought-element of the soul which makes for personal peace and wholeness.

Banish all fear

Such considerations that I have come to hold that all real fear-feeling will and may banish from our life. “Normal fear” should be substituted in our language by “instinct” or by “reason,” the element of fear being dropped altogether.

 

Continue reading second part, third part and last part.