Tag: fear

The Fear Of Criticism

The Fear of Criticism

So many times in life we would like to try something new. Like a new sport, different style haircut, changing clothing or loosing weight. But are afraid to try because of the criticism we might receive from others because of our change.

Over time we are brainwash into believing other people’s opinions and think they hold more weight then our own feelings. We do not want to be judged. If you want to break old habits you must not be controlled by outside people. You must have inner control.

This is your life!

There is nothing wrong with a little criticism. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen for it. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what someone is saying. Do they know what they are talking about?

If you feel they are after careful consideration then use their feedback to improve. If your intuition tells you they are full of it then disregard it! Be true to your self and only accept opinions that hold truths!

Don’t be afraid to have criticisms of your self. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you don not like something about yourself then change it. Always look to improve.

Sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Others have fed us information over the years that might have be tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years.

Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you can not find the paper you want. It is time to clean up the mess of criticism and restructure.

This is the only way you will be able to change you habits and better your life.

 

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Dream Big (Part 2 of 3)

Dream big!! And do not miss out the previous article:

Dream Big (Part 1 of 3)

 

Continuation:

 

If your body reacts with anxiety or fear. Fast heart-rate, shallow breathing, tightness in the chest or solar plexus, etc. You may have discovered a limiting belief that has been hidden within you.

I don’t have enough money.
I don’t have enough education.
I’m not smart enough.
I don’t have the credentials.
It will never pay the bills.
It’s never been done before so it probably can’t be done.
It’s greedy, or selfish.
People think I’m crazy.
It’s too risky.
It’s not spiritual enough.
I don’t have any extra time.
Some people might be hurt if I do it.
I might mess it up, or do it wrong.

This is just a small sampling of the limiting beliefs available for our use. There are hundreds of them, and thousands of variations. Whatever they sound like, form they take, specific words they use, limiting beliefs have but one purpose and that is to keep you small, to prevent you from dreaming big.

We’ll look more at limiting beliefs in future issues but for at least the next few minutes. But hopefully longer than that! I’m going to encourage you to let go of those beliefs. Allow yourself to imagine the biggest dream you possibly can.

Let go of all the “yeah buts”

Let yourself drift back to that uninhibited dreaming space you had as a child. We’re not concerned about whether or not these dreams ever come true. Right now we just want to rekindle the dreaming ability.

Take a moment now and enter your dream-world to imagine your life in 5-years? Let go of the rationalizations. Remember, you’re dreaming, tapping into your imagination, creating a vision of your ideal life.

So if you want to dream yourself into a vacation home in Hawaii, don’t worry about how much it will cost or where the money will come from. If you want to dream yourself into a new career, don’t worry about your lack of education, or your age, or an economic downturn.

 

Continue reading the last part:

Dream Big (Part 3 of 3)

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 1 of 3)

Learning to trust yourself matters

Reflections

Learning to trust yourself is essential to your success. Whether it be in relationships, business or parenting, trusting your ability to make the right choices for your life will help you stop second guessing your decisions or finding yourself in situations you don’t want to be in.

Have you ever struggled to make a decision or enter into a commitment because you didn’t trust your ability to make the right choice? How many times have you gotten a feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was not right?

Did you pay attention to your intuition or did you ignore it? Deep in our core, we know what is best for us. So why don’t we trust that?

Some of us were taught as a child that we can’t trust ourselves

Maybe we weren’t able to trust our loved ones or our loved ones were unable to trust us. Sometimes life experiences shatter our trust in our self. Perhaps you can recall an event in which you trusted yourself and the outcome was disastrous and painful.

The inability to trust our self can stem from not knowing who we are and what’s important to us. Other times we know what is right for us but we fail to honor that because of fear, external pressure, or a belief that we are not worthy.

Sometimes we do make decisions that don’t turn out as planned

I once signed up for tap dance lessons because I was sure I was going to love it. As a child, I had always wanted to learn tap dancing. Within the first two lessons, I knew I didn’t like it.

Learning to tap dance was hard and boring. I did not have the desire I thought I had. It is fun to watch, but tap dancing was not for me.

 

Continue reading:

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 2 of 3)

Learning To Trust Yourself (Part 3 of 3)

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 4 of 4)

Read the wonderful recent articles here:

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 1 of 4)

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 2 of 4)

Self-Growth: When Everything Falls Apart (Part 3 of 4)

 

Continuation:

 

Form new beliefs

Once you dissolve your old beliefs, you will need to form new beliefs to take their place. Usually this means replacing limiting beliefs with empowering ones.

This is a process all its own, and it will take time to fully reinforce the new beliefs in your mind and heart. A helpful activity is to write out the old beliefs. Then write your new and usually opposite beliefs right next to them.

Example: Old belief, “I am not worthy of love.” New belief, “I am worthy of love. I deserve to be loved.”

Then simply keep reinforcing these new beliefs until they become a strong part of your foundation.

Begin rebuilding

This is the fun part! It can be a bit confusing, however. What do we build? And how? Especially if the destruction process was particularly painful and life altering, we may feel at a loss about where to begin again. And the answer is: let your heart lead you.

Think about what you really want your life to be, and then begin taking the steps to create it. That might involve getting an exciting new job, or moving to a new location, or building new relationships.

The important thing is to be sure that your old beliefs have been replaced by new, empowering ones. Otherwise you will simply re-create circumstances that don’t serve you.

You will eventually have to go through the destruction process all over again! Listen closely to the urging of your heart, and use them to guide you along the path to a better life.

This isn’t an easy process by any means

But it is oh so fulfilling and exhilarating if we embrace it and allow it to happen without fighting against the pain and fear.

Through our trials and challenges come new levels of growth, wisdom, and inner strength beyond our wildest dreams. We just need to stay with the process and watch for the rainbows after the storm.

 

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Conquering Your Fears (Part 1 of 3)

Conquering your fears. Can you? Have you ever had a fear that kept you from living life fully? Perhaps this fear has stopped you from having MORE fun or experiencing GREATER success. Yes? You’re not alone. I have too.

Let me tell you a story from a great friend:

Fear that stops enjoying life to the fullest

The fear I conquered in the story below may not be my biggest fear. But with a little reflection I saw how it really stopped me from enjoying my family and life to the fullest.

It also taught me a valuable lesson of how taking steps to overcome my fear resulted in increased self confidence.

At the end of my story, I’ll give you tips for conquering your own fears.

Not the biggest fear

A few weekends ago my husband and I took our daughter Kasie, and my nephew Zach, to a water park. We all love the water and were having a blast until my hubby and the kids took off for. Those are the water slides.

As they enthusiastically ran to the slides I slowed way down. In fact, I stopped, found a chair and proceeded to organize our belongings.

As I settled into a lawn chair I saw Kasie and Zach whoosh down their side-by-side slides and plunge, feet first, into the cool water. They quickly resurfaced, sputtering and laughing and ready for more.

As Zach jumped out of the pool to run back up the stairs he looked at me laughing. Then he said, “Cari’s being a wimp.” He was right. I was.

You see, even though I love the water I’ve always been afraid of — water slides.

Time has come to make a choice

On this particular day however, the kid pressure was too great. I decided it was the time and place to conquer my old fear. As I hurried to the steps my chest tightened and my breathing became very shallow.

Each step I took to reach the top of the slide made me feel anxious, awkward and scared to death.

 

Continue reading Part 2 and Last Part.