The Fear of Criticism
So many times in life we would like to try something new. Like a new sport, different style haircut, changing clothing or loosing weight. But are afraid to try because of the criticism we might receive from others because of our change.
Over time we are brainwash into believing other people’s opinions and think they hold more weight then our own feelings. We do not want to be judged. If you want to break old habits you must not be controlled by outside people. You must have inner control.
This is your life!
There is nothing wrong with a little criticism. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen for it. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what someone is saying. Do they know what they are talking about?
If you feel they are after careful consideration then use their feedback to improve. If your intuition tells you they are full of it then disregard it! Be true to your self and only accept opinions that hold truths!
Don’t be afraid to have criticisms of your self. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you don not like something about yourself then change it. Always look to improve.
Sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Others have fed us information over the years that might have be tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years.
Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you can not find the paper you want. It is time to clean up the mess of criticism and restructure.
This is the only way you will be able to change you habits and better your life.
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How do you appreciate yourself? Or do you? Did you learn that being good to yourself was selfish? If you said ‘No’ were you bad? If you praised yourself or were praised, were people afraid you might get a ‘swelled head’?
Most of us get the message loud and clear that praising ourselves or others would lead to ‘becoming conceited’ or ‘slacking off.’ The tragedy of this belief is that, in fact, the very opposite is true. What you pay attention to expands.
Self-appreciation and appreciation of others is based on love and acceptance. In other words, as I am willing to love me, I am capable of loving you.
Much of what we say and do is called ‘constructive criticism.’ This means I tell you something supposedly for ‘your own good.’
What actually happens is that I judge what you do and say based on ‘should’ then I tell you how to ‘do it right.’ In other words, criticism is destructive and leads people to feelings of inadequacy: love and acceptance lead to feelings of self-worth.
Remember: the most important task you have is loving and accepting yourself.
What is Self-appreciation?
Self is defined as the entire person of an individual while appreciation is defined as a judgment or evaluation; an expression of admiration, approval, or gratitude. Self-appreciation is about saying: ‘I accept myself exactly as I am.’
It is about acknowledging our unique gifts and knowing within each of us is a highly creative, skilled being just waiting for discovery.
Self-appreciation is not about putting others down or thinking yourself better; it is about loving ourselves the way we are and in turn loving others the way they are.
Remember: I can only accept and love you if I am willing to love and accept myself and acknowledge my own self-worth.
Continue reading Part 2.