Tag: change

Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View (Part 2 of 2)

Enjoy your life and be an optimist. Do not miss out the wonderful previous article:

Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View (Part 1 of 2)

 

Continuation:

 

People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic.

In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they have their weapon, patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body’s ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

Why not?

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there.

Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

 

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Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View (Part 1 of 2)

Enjoy your life

Change your point of view

Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars

Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

Say you are only second placer in a writing contest. Will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time? Or will feel discourage and find an excuse not to join again?

Choices

In life, you are always facing with a lot of choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

The optimist

Well, optimism links to positive mood and good morale. To academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success and popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teenager’s disorder’ as well.

Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are also confront with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune—it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confine to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the ‘problem’ at hand. They use ‘positive reinterpretation.’ In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow.

Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

 

Continue reading:

Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View (Part 2 of 2)

Fate – How It Changes Our Plans

Fate – How It Changes Our Plans

Life plans

All of us are working towards some goals. All of us have some plans for our life. We plan for our future, our children, our career and retirement. We are always planning and trying to implement our plans.

While doing all this, we forget to count fate, and that can give us a shock if we are not ready for it. When one makes plans, one should always leave the results to fate. Otherwise the shocks can be disastrous for our equanimity. Let us see how.

There are some who do not believe in fate

Some people don’t believe in fate. How do these people justify few occurrences? For example, why some kids get cancer at a very early age? Why, a person who takes care of his/her health in all the possible ways, is suddenly diagnosed with impossible sounding diseases?

One person survive in an accident while the other person traveling with him/her dies on the spot? Why some people instinctively leave some place, a night before a natural calamity? We hear of so many such miraculous survivals and cruel deaths, that the role of fate becomes impossible to deny.

A journalist who goes out only to fulfill his/her duty gets kidnapped in a foreign country and is killed mercilessly. Why? Few others make all the plans to go to the same place, but change their plans on the way!

The power of fate

Which power makes us act in ways that either help us survive in a disaster or pull us towards one? It is fate. Isn’t it?

What should we do if life is such? We surely cannot stop planning about our future? We surely cannot sit at one place and let fate play its own game. And after thinking about the games fate plays, one cannot plan and be absolutely certain that things will turn out precisely as planned.

What is the best way to live life?

Let us plan and apply all our might to bring the plans to fructification. Let us fight against all the obstacles and try to reach the goals. All of us do whatever we can to achieve what we desire.

Let us leave the results to God. To dream of results and be sure that they will be fulfilled as per our plans may give us a bigger shock, if that does not happen.

 

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Why Do We Feel That Life Can Be Cruel?

Life can be so cruel

The sad truth

Why do we feel that life can be cruel? Watching torture scenes of the prisoners. Thinking of the hunger deaths at many places of the world. Looking at some merciless act around one’s own neighborhood.

Sometimes recollecting the pain we ourselves get from our friends and our enemies. The thought that life can be very cruel comes to mind.

The story of an old man

Recently a story appeared in some newspapers about an old man who came back from jail after 44 years. He was arrested in 1981 for a petty fight with a neighbor and was sent for trial.

Before the trial begin, he was found mentally imbalanced and sent to asylum. He stays in the asylum. At around 2008, after which he was send back to jail for trial.

But all papers relating to his case is nowhere to find by then. Somehow the news filtered out and judiciary was approached about this man’s plight. This man was released recently.

I saw the photograph in the newspapers. It looked as if he was staring at nothing, or was lost in his own pain or something else. But nothing looked natural or happy.

It was a photograph of a life lost. His family had taken him for dead since long, his wife had remarried his brother and life had carried on for them in struggle.

What does this man do now? Who does he come back to? His wife of years ago is no more his wife. The long 38 years have battered him beyond recognition. What will he look forward to?

Pain changes a person

Pain changes a person beyond belief. The battering that one gets from life makes one lose faith in fairness of life. Some unfortunate people undergo so much pain that they no longer remain human beings.

They turn in to some unknown specie that knows how to take pain. The specie that accepts pain, that bears pain, that expects nothing good and that carries on from day to day like a dead person.

They carry so much pain and memories. No amount of compassion can bring them back to the saner world. They have lost their faith in the world, They don’t want to return to that world again to receive more shocks of pain.

All of them are more pained by the memories of the pain. They fear the thought of getting more pain than the pain itself. Life can be very cruel sometimes with some people.

 

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Do You Have This Bad Habit? (Part 2 of 2)

Do you have this bad habit? Read the recent article to find out.

Do You Have This Bad Habit? (Part 1 of 2)

 

Continuation:

 

But focusing more on assigning blame than on how to deal with the problems is just a bad habit. It’s like a child screaming “I don’t want it this way!” thinking that complaints will change reality.

It isn’t very productive. You may notice in friends who find many things and people to blame in their lives.

Breaking A Bad Habit

Blame the person who chooses to be cruel to you. But you are also to blame if you choose to be abused repeatedly by spending time with this person. It’s a bit like sticking your hand in a fire repeatedly, hoping it will one day stop being hot.

Almost, I say, because a person CAN change. However, how often do they? Be realistic here, or you are fighting reality as surely as when you put your hand into a fire.

A person can wait for his “ship to come in,” or can face the fact that people create most of the “luck” they have in life. Then they start working toward his goals.

I can work for political change or just complain and wish things were different. You can watch people succeed, while talking about the “reasons” for your failures. You can see what they are doing to succeed and try that.

Sometimes we don’t want to see the truth. To really want to see it we may need to look at the futility of fighting reality. Who is more likely to find happiness in this world?

A man who demands it should be the way he wants it. Or one who accepts things as they are, changes what he can, and does what he needs to do? Who will more likely succeed? A man who knows all about how things “should be?” Or one who sees only what is there and deals with it?

Do you need motivation to change? Start watch complainers and blamers and those who say “should” and “shouldn’t” too often. Watch closely, and you’ll see how they suffer for their demands on reality.

This is a bad habit upon which many other bad habits are based, but it can be broken.

 

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