Tag: awareness

Healing Abandonment & Abuse through Awareness (Part 2 of 2)

Do not miss out the first part.

 

Continuation:

When the abandoned child is feeling its pain and loss, the rest of the adult person is unable to find emotional balance. New skills are needed to help sort out the confusion, and to create new, healthier patterns.

Part of the healing may include grieving and anger, as those repressed feelings are released. But it is equally important to look at strengths: how well you are doing and what you want to contribute to the world as well as the positive side of parents and caretakers. Most people do the best they can.

Healing is a process of peeling the onion, so to speak. Revealing one layer after another, with time for rest and integration, leads to inner peace, resolution, and forgiveness.

Here are some suggestions:

1. Write about parallels between the past and the present. Become more aware of old patterns finding their way into your current life.

2. List all the ways you feel you were abandoned. Don’t worry if the list doesn’t make logical sense or is too long or short. Just write what you feel and remember.

3. Look at photographs of you and your family from those time periods as a way to help you remember details. Becoming more aware of the past can help you sort issues in the present.

4. Write an “unsent letter”—do not send it!—to your mother, telling her all the ways you appreciated her.
5. Now write an “unsent letter” listing the ways she let you down. DO NOT send unsent letters in the exercise—these are just ways for you to help yourself to heal.

Do the same for your father.

1. Write about your intentions for today, this week—what do you want to change? What are you goals in your life now?

2. What are you doing well now, and how is it different and better than what you or your family might have done in the past?

3. What are your strengths? Name 10 things your friends would say are your best traits.

4. Write about how you are your best friend. How you take care of yourself and like yourself.

 

— end —

 

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Healing Abandonment & Abuse through Awareness (Part 1 of 2)

 

Many people I work with in therapy or in my writing-as-healing classes discover stories that surprise them—stories about the mistakes they felt their parents made, power imbalances in the family, or stories about physical or sexual abuse.

The darker stories are often a surprise. When writers sat down to write, those issues were not directly on their minds, but deep, revealing stories erupted from the pen. Though they were unexpected, for some they were a relief.

People who have been in therapy have had the same kind of experience—the subject matter in the forefront of the mind is not the material that “accidentally” arises during the session.

The therapy session begins with a particular subject in the present—for example dissatisfaction at work or trouble in a relationship, but often travels back in time with associations to parents, school, or past relationships.

It has become a cliché to talk about “dysfunctional” relationships and families, but most people do not have perfect families, and many have had to struggle with a range of problems—alcoholism, abuse—physical, sexual, or emotional, eating disorders, and depression, to name a few.

No one likes to be reminded of the past but when it keeps coming up, we are pushed to learn new responses as we search for more peace and positivism in our lives.

 

The past is not dead—it’s not even past.

-William Faulkner

Different kinds of abandonment

For people who have been abandoned, either literally by actual physical absence, or emotionally. A parent can be in the home and not there for us. The abandoned child syndrome may remain years later, showing up through insecurities and fears. Clinging behaviors or its opposite—walls to intimacy.

The abandoned child inside the adult can create havoc such as alcohol abuse, repeating their own abandonment by abandoning children, or refusal to have children out of fear of repetition. Depression, lack of energy and creativity, anger, and trying to fill up the emptiness may be manifestations of these issues.

 

Continue reading the last part.

Yoga In Improving Personal Life (Part 1 of 2)

How yoga builds self-esteem, awareness and more

Yoga is a way to escape from everything and go into your own little world it will help you to forget all the things that are stressing you for a short while. Yoga will help make a positive change in your life.

There are many things that yoga can help you with like depression, many medical problems etc. Yoga is an on going treatment you have to stay with it to get anything out of it. You cannot do it today and accelerate to get the full benefits out of it.

What are some of the things yoga will help me with?

Yoga can and will help you with many things. You have to get with it and do it in order to get the full benefits out of yoga however. Yoga can help with breathing, so if your not breathing right, yoga will teach you how to get in control of your breathing.

Yoga will help you learn how to control your mind as well as your breathing, of you have asthma it can help, carpal tunnel, depression, lower back pain, multiple sclerosis, osteoarthritis of the knees, memory problems, heat disease, high blood pressure, will help you lose weight, will also help the elderly or someone that has balance trouble keep balance

So see it will help in many ways. This will make you feel a lot better inside and outside.

How would I learn how to do yoga?

You can go to your family doctor they should be able to tell you how you can be enrolled in a program. If they cant do nothing then you might want to try to go to your local library.

They may have some information on how to get enrolled as well, or you may want to go on line and see what you can find out.

 

Continue reading the last part.

The Mystery of Enlightenment

Initially, enlightenment is living in the present moment and accepting your situation as it is. That is a pretty heavy task for anyone in any time. It is often said that an enlightened person cannot be angered by small talk or negative energy.

Many people are humble and believe that they will never be enlightened in this life. They also believe: The goal of enlightenment is too vast for the average person to achieve. However, should you just give up?

What can you do to attain enlightenment?

You should meditate daily: This will help you connect to the world around you. This is an awareness of plants, animals, people and many things around you that are often not appreciated or overlooked.

Meditation will enhance awareness of yourself, everything around you, and the connection between the two. This will bring out the ability to see reality as it is – with the ultimate goal of reaching a state of “pure consciousness.”

Understand the value of prayer, mantras, and singing. Even if you only practice in your mind, this will strengthen positive energy within you. Many people resort to theses practices; to gain comfort in times of need. This is a shame because you can gain the positive benefits of prayer, mantras, and singing, any time.

Remember, enlightenment is not a race: You would be shocked at the number of people who put pressure on themselves to be “instantly enlightened.”

It is good to have goals in life, so creating a log to track your progress is a beneficial practice. Your log may track your meditation sessions, your ability to deal with, or diffuse, negative situations, your ability to create positive energy and project it to others, and your ability to see reality.

If you continue the process of keeping and maintaining a log, your results will be encouraging. You may also want to join a group with compatible religious beliefs, search for a teacher, or share your practice with a friend on the same path.

Lastly, do not be frustrated by uncertainty and learn to accept what you cannot control. If all humans could maintain enlightenment, we would experience world peace.

We could all accept each other, despite differences of culture, nationality, color, sex, religious beliefs, or any other thing humans can find to develop a pre-conceived notion about each other.