Tag: acceptance

Self-appreciation: The Key To Living A Life Of Joy (Part 1 of 2)

 

How do you appreciate yourself?  Or do you?  Did you learn that being good to yourself was selfish?  If you said ‘No’ were you bad?  If you praised yourself or were praised, were people afraid you might get a ‘swelled head’?

Most of us get the message loud and clear that praising ourselves or others would lead to ‘becoming conceited’ or ‘slacking off.’ The tragedy of this belief is that, in fact, the very opposite is true. What you pay attention to expands.

Self-appreciation and appreciation of others is based on love and acceptance. In other words, as I am willing to love me, I am capable of loving you.

Much of what we say and do is called ‘constructive criticism.’ This means I tell you something supposedly for ‘your own good.’

What actually happens is that I judge what you do and say based on ‘should’ then I tell you how to ‘do it right.’ In other words, criticism is destructive and leads people to feelings of inadequacy: love and acceptance lead to feelings of self-worth.

Remember: the most important task you have is loving and accepting yourself.

What is Self-appreciation?

Self is defined as the entire person of an individual while appreciation is defined as a judgment or evaluation; an expression of admiration, approval, or gratitude. Self-appreciation is about saying: ‘I accept myself exactly as I am.’

It is about acknowledging our unique gifts and knowing within each of us is a highly creative, skilled being just waiting for discovery.

Self-appreciation is not about putting others down or thinking yourself better; it is about loving ourselves the way we are and in turn loving others the way they are.

Remember: I can only accept and love you if I am willing to love and accept myself and acknowledge my own self-worth.

 

Continue reading Part 2.

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When Couples Are In Stressful Relationship

 

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” – Pearl S. Buck

When two people get married, it means they are making a big commitment. It means they should stay with each other through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do them part.

Getting into a marriage relationship is the sign of the fullness of their deep romantic love for each other. Yet, their love for each other is tested in the course of time. First, there would be the adjustment period. All couples go through that. There is a saying that you only get to know the person if both of you are living under one roof.

The routine of everyday life brings unrealistic expectations. Marital disenchantment comes in and it is expressed shortly just after the honeymoon fever wears off. This is the time when imperfections can be seen.

Shortcomings can be blown out of proportions. Some eccentric behavior which you found “cute” before now becomes annoying. Aside from your own problems as a couple, you have to deal with in-law relationships, money matters, and certain conflicts which have become the cause of your stress and anxiety.

When negative emotions and actions take over, it becomes the perfect recipe for marriage disharmony. Unless you become aware of your own hurtful attitudes or actions, chances are, you won’t do something about it.

Marriage is accepting who that person really is. We only need to practice self-control and learn not to have so many expectations.

The following tips will show you how to bring back that “zest” in your married life:

TIPS ON PUTTING ROMANCE BACK TO YOUR MARRIAGE

1. UNDERSTANDING – We all need reassurance. Reinforce this by showing affection, a simple praise, hug or kiss will do. We should learn to communicate our feelings to our mate. Don’t be defensive. When you have a minor spat…say “I’m sorry.” and really mean it. The sooner you do this, the sooner your mate will stop resenting you.

2. LEARN TO ACCEPT- All marriages go through certain obstacles. The one that you married turns out not to be the “angel” that you envisioned or the “knight of shining armor.” Real love takes a lot of patience. So go beyond your illusions on what or how your mate should be. Rather, focus on yourself and start to make the necessary changes needed to improve who you are as a spouse.

3. MEET HALFWAY- In every situation, especially when you reach the point that you are angry, hurt, and frustrated — you have to learn how to meet halfway. In other words, you must know how to compromise or negotiate. No two human beings are exactly alike. So settle your differences and learn to forgive each other right away. Don’t let the sun go down on you without you and your mate finding the solution.

4. REKINDLE – How do you refresh and fix a troublesome marriage? Bring back the love and intimacy. Work on it. Work on your marriage. Like life….marriage is not a bed of roses. You have to work it out with your partner by investing time, love, money, and interest in each other. Bring back the closeness by being honest, non-argumentative, and non-judgmental. Being happy together brings good mental health as well as the physical.

Yes, you and your partner should be on top of everything, be in charge of keeping the romance alive and let your marriage blossom the way it was meant to be.

The Power Of Acceptance

 

Inevitably in life we will have to face disappointment from time to time. Sometimes they may be little disappointments, and other times they may be great, big, heart wrenching disappointments. When this happens to us, we have a choice in how we react. Some of us may give up on our dreams, others may keep fighting stubbornly against the tide, and still others may choose another path to travel.

One important aspect of dealing with disappointment is acceptance. When we keep fighting against our circumstances and disappointments, it can leave us feeling frustrated, bitter and exhausted. Especially during those times in life when everything seems to keep going wrong for us, we get more and more stressed as we try to resist the undesirable circumstances.

Practicing acceptance can help ease that inner tension and allow us to see our situation more clearly. Accepting your circumstances does not mean giving up! It does not mean that you have to be 100% happy with your current situation. Acceptance means that you acknowledge and accept where you are in your life at this moment, even though it may not be ideal.

Maybe you hate your job or your marriage is faltering. Maybe you are struggling to lose weight and can’t seem to get anywhere with it. Whatever it is that is causing you stress, try accepting it instead of fighting against it. Repeat the following to yourself: “I may not be thrilled with the way things are in my life right now, but I accept it. I will do what I can and give the rest to God. I am thankful for the blessings I do have right now, and I know that more are on the way.”

It may take a lot of patience at the beginning, but as you continue to do this, something amazing happens. The struggles suddenly don’t seem so large anymore. They won’t magically dissolve before your eyes, but the edges seem to soften a bit. Life doesn’t seem quite so harsh anymore. Solutions to the problems may even begin to appear. If that doesn’t happen right away, that’s okay! Know that they will eventually. Just keep practicing acceptance and have faith that things will turn around.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. We are where we are in our lives right now because we are meant to be here. Several factors may have contributed to our current circumstances, such as choices we made in the past, or outside influences we have no control over. The questions to ask yourself are: What is the lesson here? What do I need to learn about this situation? Though you may not be happy with your current situation, there IS a reason you are there right now.

This is especially true if you continuously find yourself in similar situations! For example, if you keep choosing unhealthy relationships, you might want to take some time to discover why. If you are always struggling financially, there may be a message for you there. If you can’t seem to figure it out on your own, you might consider seeking professional help. Sometimes an outside party can see things that we can’t.

No matter what difficulties you are struggling with right now, know that this too shall pass. Difficulties do not last forever. Oftentimes, struggles are opportunities in disguise..

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE (PART 2 OF 2)

To better relate to the story, please read Part I

 

Then I really felt it – the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.

I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman’s cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, ‘Thank you.’

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, ‘I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope’

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son. When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, ‘That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope….’

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.

We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God’s sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.

I turned in ‘my project’ and the instructor read it.

Then she looked up at me and said, ‘Can I share this?’

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.

She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald’s, my son, the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:

 

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS –

NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.

UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE (PART 1 OF 2)

 

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end!

 

Breakfast at McDonald’s.

I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with. Her last project of the term was called, ‘Smile.’

The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions. I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, literally.

Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald’s one crisp March morning.

It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son. We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch… an overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.

As I turned around I smelled a horrible ‘dirty body’ smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.

As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was ‘smiling’

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God’s Light as he searched for acceptance

He said, ‘Good day’ as he counted the few coins he had been clutching.

The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I held my tears as I stood there with them.

The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, ‘Coffee is all Miss’ because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).

 

CONTINUE READING HERE!